further study in New Zealand

yesterday yam cha wit fren, my senior say he mayb will further study in New Zealand after graduate...he say the course n cost of living fee is around 80k-100k...for me, it is really expensive...but i really so interested...bcos i think tis is a big chance for me to get more knowledge from other country...mayb i can tk tis chance to work at thr...i noe if i wan, my family will give full support to me... but i was owe them so many, so i cant tk their money dy...bcos tat is not a small amount....

so upset nw...i cant so selfish dy...cant jz think myself only...i noe my father bcos of me, he was give up many thing dy...he oso become old dy...i don wan give him more finance problem...n oso i don like to depend other ppl dy...i must hander the problem of myself...

so i hv to start plan it at now...i noe it is hard, but i will try my self...

something to say

long time dint post blog dy...bcos no mood to post and nth to say...

today i wan say smth bout my feeling...about a girl...i really so confuse about our relationship...i donoe wat i need, wat i can give to her....i donoe tis is love or jz a close frenship...so confusing nw...i scare i cant make my promise to her...i scare i will hurt her....mayb i less self confident in love...

she is the 1st gal give me tat kind of feeling...i really so miss she every day n nite...some time i cant contral my self to call or sms she...she let me feel so touch, sweet and so warm...bcos of tat, i feel so pressure...i really scare i will hurt she 1 day....i oso donoe y im pressure...

i noe she jz few month only, i really don understand she...but i noe she is a good, kind and nice gal..

i think i wan give more time to our relationship...i hv to treasure tis relationship...i hv to more initiative, bcos im a man....